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Brains. Picking my own. [Feb. 24th, 2014|08:25 pm]
Y'know what's shit?
I try so hard to never vent my negative feelings, to never hurt people and to only let people see me happy.
But it's difficult.
It's heavy.
I just want to be a positive force on this place, improving things for other people, 'cause I know what it's like.
Sometimes it all just seems too much.
How can anyone that understands anything - anything that goes on in the world - how can they be happy? How can they live their lives and be okay with stuff?
I know I can. I do, and have lived like that.
Even trying to have a positive impact on this planet and the people that thrive on it.
But even as the horrible plague we are on the planet, we're equally beautiful. Trying to improve, trying to progress, trying not to step on one another.
But life, society, everything is counter productive.
Living for ones self seems such a hollow existance, but living for others is so thankless, so aimless, so....

But I can't even get by here well enough to look after myself, so how can I help others? How can I guide, advise, support...
Who can do that without feeling guilt.
Who can do that but not for selfish reasons.

I'm not even sure this makes any sense.
I want to blame the size of the box I'm writing in, but no.

I'm not happy 'cause I'm missing that special someone in my life. I'm surrounded by friends and family, but just missing that someone else.

Just watched the end of season 4 of Breaking Bad - it's really good. Walter White is a dick.

im gonna go for a run.